i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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