I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
