You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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