My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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