Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
handjob tips. give me some.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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