do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
