I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
