come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
