the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
