I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
