how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
