READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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