Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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