butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
