So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize