I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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