Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
