The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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