Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
