I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
