I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
