so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
