nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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