break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
