Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
