it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
