you guys were way drunker than both of me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
