I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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