It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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