Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
