we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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