so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
