Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Acid is not a monday night drug
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
