I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
