He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize