Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
