I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
