who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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