Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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