First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
