watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
