he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
