Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize