I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize