Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
