She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
