she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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