my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
