"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize