Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
