I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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