the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
