That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
