It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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