I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
