it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
