Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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