he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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