her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
