they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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