New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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