And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
