Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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