Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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