If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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