I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
